Hockey Cards G To M

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The Goodfliesh Family

They say the family that plays together stays together. And the Goodflieshs do play together, and against each other, to a man…and a woman. The Goodfliesh’s are the toughest group the TSHA has ever had to deal with. And this includes all other Asian ball hockey teams, the Kabukicho homeless, the Japanese police force, the Roppongi Nigerians and the Yakuza. Each Goodfliesh is as tough as the next - and seemingly attached to the next with steel cables. It has been speculated, by various members of the TSHA, that for a home invasion of the Goodflieshes to succeed, it would have to be the carried out by the US Marines…and we mean all of them…with full equipment…and air support... and would only then succeed with the good fortune of many weeks of favorable weather conditions

In this sense we have a healthy respect for the Goodfliesh’s, welcoming them to play with us. We enjoy their extraordinarily tough defensive and skillful offensive play...But we are also afraid…very afraid to express any other opinion…even if we dared to have it.

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Gordon Vanstone #14

Gord is a laid back west dude with a shock of blond hair which would cut a more appropriate figure on a surfboard than in a hockey rink. Still, the boys of the TSHA are actually just jealous as it is this very same shock of blond, along with a 100 watt smile and fun easy going nature that serves him well in his Japan exploits. He is a Vancouver lad made good in Tokyo and we can’t help but resent him for it!

Gord is always dangerous around the net and causes much chaos in the attacking zone, harrying opposing defensemen and goalies to positive effect. Unfortunately this always lasts until about half way through any tournament when he inevitably blows out knee in a comical explosion flailing limbs.

After this, he can invariably be found with an ice pack on his knee, cig between his lips and a smile on his face texting on his keitai to set up his latest date for after the game.

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Jeremy Crawford #21

Jeremy is a big, strong, gifted center with good hands and a determination to win. He can usually get the ball in the net by force of speed, size and will. Along with Chad, Jeremy is one of two TSHA “power forwards”, who is always welcome on any team.

With all this going for him, Jeremy always makes a solid contribution to his team on Sundays, dominating with speed and power in the offensive zone.

The TSHA guys are hoping that he will show up more competitive tournaments, and particularly the bigger overseas ones, where we could use his offensive output and intimidating presence to win more trophies.

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John “Mr. Hockey” La Cara #77

Typical day in the life of John:

12 AM to 6:00 AM – Dreaming about playing right defense for the Edmonton Oilers

6:00AM to 6:10 AM – Quick breakfast of performance enhancing amino acid jelly

6:10AM to 7:00 AM – Road work (jogging and wind sprints) to build stamina for hockey

7:00AM to 7:15 AM – Shower while singing Hockey Night in Canada theme song

7:15AM to 8:00AM – On the train to work checking NHL scores on iPod

8:03AM to 8:07AM – Actually answering work related email

8:07AM to 10:45 AM – Working out round robin formats for 3 to 27 team combinations

10:45AM to 11:30AM – Practicing slap-shot with umbrella in office

11:30AM to 12:10AM - Correspondence with ISBHF concerning CCM tournament…

12:10AM to 1:00PM – Lunch with visiting ball hockey player from Canada

1:00PM to 3:45PM – Reading NHL.com online at desk

3:45PM to 3:47PM – Responding to annoying client phone call

3:47PM to 5:20PM – Sorting extensive hockey card collection

5:20PM to 6:05PM – Memorizing Section #10: Game Flow of official NHL rule book.

6:05PM to 6:10PM – Checking hockey bag contents for cans of Red Bull.

6:10PM to 7:00PM – Riding train, ranting to Chad to get his ass to rink.

7:00PM to 9:00PM – Playing hockey.

9:00PM to 10:05PM – Licking physical and psychological wounds from loss on train.

10:05PM to 10:15PM – Showering in equipment to get it clean.

10:15PM to 12:00AM – Watching VHS tapes of the Edmonton Oilers in the 1984 Stanley Cup series.

12 AM to 6:00 AM – Dreaming about playing right defense for the Edmonton Oilers...

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Michel "The Effect" van Ackere #19

Michel is one of the TSHA's old timers, in that he has both been with us for a long time, and he's old. He's been with us since our first year, making him a member of the elite "Original Six" TSHA members.

He plays a strong defense, but isn't afraid to rush the net those one or two times before his energy runs out and he needs to start being realistic about his abilities.

Michel brings the requisite amount of cynicism to the TSHA, and has learned over the years that revealing too much of one's personal life only leads to derision and mockery by other players. Wisely, he now says little about his escapades outside of hockey, freeing up more time for derision and commentary about other people and their lives.

"The Van Ackere Effect" is named for Michel, who discovered that the one time you forget to wear a cup to hockey is the one time you will have needed it most.

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